


Another Twitter Fic

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon? Fuck canon we don't know her, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Social Media, Tags Are Hard, Twitter, rated for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24184864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Another twitter fic, because this fandom totally needed another one.Not canon compliant because fuck canon.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 146





	1. Garlic Bread

Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

> Due to quarantine I've decided to make an account out of boredom. Ask me anything. [Picture of Spider-Man holding up a peace sign. He’s in casual clothes and is only wearing his mask]

Pepper @PepperPotts

>> Don't say anything confidential or will need PR intervention.

Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> Yes ma'am! 

\--

A ghost… but boy @Ghostboy

> Why are you quarantined? Thought u were a mutant? 

Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> I can't catch anything, but since everyone else is quarantined there isn’t really crime happening. Also via. the Accords, all registered mutants are required to follow the same gov. restrictions as everyone else during times of crisis unless given an otherwise reason.

Chris @ChristianY.

>>> Registered Mutant? 

Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>>>> Mutants registered under the accords and therefore protected by the government. Mr. Stark knows more about it than I do, I just know I'm registered.

\--

@Spiderfan69

> what powers do you have? Or is it just the suit? 

Garlic Bread @Spidey-Boy

>> I'm a mutant, very sticky, heightened senses, and quick metabolism. But the suit helps a lot so I don't get sensory overload, webs and you know, stabbed.

I like big ferns @Plantguy

> Common misconception(s?) about you? 

Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy   
>> I don't lay eggs, my webs don't come out of me, and I'm not an evil menace plotting to take over the world (@DailyBugle ???) I just wanna help the little guys. 

\--

I'm a lesbian not a chicken @Chickgirl

> Why is your name garlic bread? 

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> I was hoping Mr. Stark would see and make some, but he hasn't so I've got to step up my game. 

I’m an oyster and life is a seafood restaurant @Fisharecool

>>> Ironman cooks?

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>>>> YES. He makes the best food but @Capsicle is the one who always cooks.

\--

Black Widow can kill me anyday @BlackWidowStan

> Will Black Widow ever make a twitter?

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> @SpiderAssassin yes.

\--

I slept for 17 hours @Whyamitired

> Favorite food?

Tony please make Garlic Bread @ Spidey-boy

>> At this very moment? Garlic bread. @TonyStark

\--

God is Steve Rogers Ass @Avengersfan69

> What's it like living in the tower? 

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> I don’t usually live here but here’s what I’ve learned over the month: @TonyStark doesn't sleep like ever. @capsicle does a lot of art, he has an entire studio in the tower. He also thinks I eat like him, so I've had to hide a lot of food for later. (1/?)

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> @Probnotassassin knows memes and is constantly quoting them @PoptartThor hoards poptarts and only gives them to @DrBanner but he doesn’t eat poptarts often, because sugar can apparently weaken your body’s response to stress? (2/?)

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> @SpiderAssassin is terrifying, badass and I would die for her at any given moment, and @hawkeye sleeps in the vents, constantly breaks the security on them and doesn’t let @FRIDAY tell anyone. (3/3)

\--

That’s America’s ass @SteveRogersstan

> How much do you eat vs how much Captain Rogers eats?

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> In terms of one meal Cap eats way more than I do, but over the span of an entire day I’d say we eat about the same amount. I tend to get fuller quicker, so I have to eat more frequently. That being said if you find unopened food sitting around Queens in weird places, it’s mine. Please don’t eat it.

\--

You Know Who I Am @TonyStark

> @Spidey-boy Your garlic bread is done.

Tony please make Garlic Bread @Spidey-boy

>> Yes! Q&A is over everybody! 

You Know Who I Am @TonyStark

>>> I’m also adding food pockets to your suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok finally getting around to writing the notes.
> 
> Hi! I'm writing another one of these twitter fics because I think they're fun and kinda easy to write. I don't have to worry about setting, major plot, or physical descriptions (unless I'm describing a photo). So yeah! Fun. This is probably gonna be pretty light hearted and joke based, but no promises because I like whump.  
> Hope y'all are social distancing, or else I'll break your kneecaps (and if you don't have any I'll break your elbows)
> 
> and here's all the user's in case you got confused:  
> Peter Parker is @Spidey-Boy  
> Tony Stark is... @TonyStark (obviously)  
> Pepper Potts is @PepperPotts (Another obvious one)  
> Steve Rogers is @capsicle  
> Natasha Romanoff is @SpiderAssassin  
> Clint Barton is @Hawkeye (obviously)  
> James "Bucky" Barnes is @ProbNotAssassin


	2. Bucky is a Meme

**The Daily Bugle** @Daily-Bugle  ✔

> Avengers Hero, Tony Stark, otherwise known as Ironman suspect to aiding construction of menace Spider-Man’s suit? Check out this exclusive story at thedailybugle.net 

**You Know Who I Am** @TonyStark  ✔

>> For legal reasons I’m supposed to say I didn’t and have no access to make or edit Spider-Man’s suit. But for personal reasons? fuck you

\--

**Tony please make Garlic Bread** @Spidey-boy

> Today on I’d die for Mr. Stark without hesitation [Picture of previous tweets]

**You Know Who I Am** @TonyStark  ✔

> I’m reactivating training wheels if you don’t stop saying that. Also I made your garlic bread a week ago change your name already. 

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-boy

> Fine. Better? 

**You Know Who I Am** @TonyStark **✔**

> I don't know what I was expecting but somehow this is worse. 

\---

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-boy 

> Best part about Corona? I can say I forgot my mask and no one will assume I'm: A. A vigilante or B. About to rob a bank. 

**Tony Stop Change My Name** @capsicle

> That's what you get out of this? 

**saw u hangin' out w/ kaitlyn y/day** @Probnotassassin ✔

> I think it's valid

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-boy 

> woah wait a minute, the Winter Soldier is verified on Twitter but Captain America isn't? 

**I'm a lesbian not a chicken** @Chickgirl

> You're saying @Probnotassassin is the Winter Soldier? 

**saw u hangin out w/ kaitlyn y/day** @Probnotassassin ✔

> My name is Michael with a b

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> the winter soldier has a meme account I can now die at peace. 

**You Know Who I Am** @TonyStark ✔

> I'm activating training wheels as we speak. Also Barnes, why? 

**saw u hangin' out e/ kaitlyn y/day** @Probnotassassin  ✔

> Respect the drip Karen

\---

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> [Picture of New York Skyline] Guess who can’t get or spread the plague

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> This is your one and only warning; if I see you outside without a mask for reasons other than necessities I will web you in the face 

**Pepper** @PepperPotts ✔

> …?

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> An anonymous identity that is definitely not me, Spider-Man. Will web you in the face.

\---

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> Okay when I said without a mask I meant a medical mask not a Spider-man cosplay mask. [Picture of someone waving with a Spider-man mask on]

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> Wait nvrmind, they’re valid [Similar picture as previous, but the Spider-man mask is pulled up to reveal an actual mask.]

**I slept for 17 hours** @Whyamitired

> Hypothetically let's say you don’t have a mask bc they’re sold out, but you have to go out to get ur meds???

**One Sticky Boi** @Spidey-Boy

> i have reusable ones, r u in Queens?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, i'm tired, stomach pain is kicking my ass i'll do the notes later sorry


End file.
